I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
