I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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