where does the pee come out of this thing
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
