he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
