We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize