Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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