Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
