i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize