Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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