I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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