Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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