U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
