It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
