so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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