lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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