I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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