There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
