Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
