4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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