Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
