At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
