Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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