Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's shark week go big or go home
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
