You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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