i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
