I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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