I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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