My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize