She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
