he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
