Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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