if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
