just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
