so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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