All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
