He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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