the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
