i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
