Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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