living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize