none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
