i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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