Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize