there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
