words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Your cock deserves a montage
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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