I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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