i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I lost the right to judge tonight
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
