Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
