He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
