I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
