Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
