How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
