nut hugger
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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