you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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