I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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