i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
