was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Vodka?
Forever.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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