but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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