The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She announced her abortion via fbk
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
