ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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