And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
