We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
