why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
