He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
