I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize