All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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