dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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