Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
